Arghhh

Well, I did Lake Mary this past weekend and it was not exactly like the Lake Mary I remember. The location has changed but that’s a good thing. But they’ve increased the number of booths, almost double and decreased the number of awards, removing all of the honorable mentions. I wrote on the survey that they didn’t need to try and be a big shot art show, that they were doing just fine as Lake Mary.

And I’ve been thinking (dangerous words there) maybe that advice applies to me as well. I just got my sixth rejection in two weeks. Another big shot art show doesn’t want me. And I’ve had lots of work chosen for judging, almost every single show I’ve been in, and the last time I got an award at an art show is now more than a year. I’m discouraged, but why does some judge’s opinion bother me so much if I am truly doing what I feel called to do. I seem to have lost my purpose. This is the biggest dip the roller coaster has taken. On the bright side I seem to be selling pretty regularly. The public seems to like my work. But that’s not enough. That’s not why I started doing this.

I came home Saturday night very discouraged and I needed to send out my artist statement to a potential buyer. I stopped to read it. I wrote it several years ago, dreamy idealistic words, that I don’t feel I am living up to, but I’m not sure how to proceed.

Maybe this is just the economy talking, or five shows in eight weeks talking, and I’ll feel better in a few days. God will send the answer, just not on my timetable and like any good human being I want it now.

Stay tuned.