Necessary Losses

Long ago I read a book by Judith Viorst called “Necessary Losses”. I don’t remember much of the book except for the knowledge that some things we must give up in order to grow. While the book doesn’t talk about things like this, I think it comes under the topic.

For most of my life I have been a dichotomy. I’ve been the lover of nature, peace and quiet and the lover of American muscle cars. Camaros, Firebirds, Mustangs, and GTOs, I’ve owned and loved them all. A few years back I thought I had found an appropriate compromise and traded my Mustang for a 350Z. Then my husband was no longer able to ride me on the back of his motorcycle so he suggested I get my own. And I loved driving my car and riding my motorcycle. Then I started doing art shows and moving closer and closer to the nature and serenity part of me. While the motorcycle is great for being able to pull over anywhere to take a photograph it was impossible to carry the tripod and more than one camera. And it didn’t do gravel or dirt well. The car didn’t do gravel or dirt well either. The last time I pulled up to a group of nature photographers to go out and take photographs I felt a little out of place. A bumper sticker kind of moment – real nature photographers have 4WD. Or at least vehicles with more than 6” of clearance. It was time. So last week we traded in the motorcycle and the car for a Jeep. It’s not going to be my Jeep. I’ve had the pleasure or driving the “nicer” vehicle for awhile now. It’s Clif’s turn. I inherit Clif’s previous vehicle, the gray box. It’s humbling. I always liked to have a vehicle that stands out. This one looks like every other SUV on the road. But I no longer have to check road conditions before I go on a photo shoot. I can fit framed photographs in it for delivery. And I feel at one with myself.

This past weekend we took the Jeep out on the fire roads of Ocala National Forest. And we saw deer and a bear. We found a lovely park on the shores of the St. Johns River. We had fun.

Peter and Paul at Wolf Trap

Over my many years of going to Wolf Trap and sitting on the lawn it has never rained. Yes, there were times, when I had more money or fewer people, when I sat inside in the expensive seats and listened to the pouring rain and clapping thunder and felt sympathy for those on the lawn. But it never rained on me. It was fitting that this time it should rain. It was also fitting that five minutes before the concert began a rainbow appeared over the building with the now lit but vacant stage in its center. Peter and Noel with their wonderful sense of humor opened with “Weave Me the Sunshine” and amazingly the rain began to slow. By the time they were into the third song it stopped completely.

Peter and Noel put on a wonderful performance but it seemed short and more melancholy than uplifting. Of course it was. There was a huge voice missing. And when Noel introduced “Blowing in the Wind” he spoke of Mary as a voice that will be sorely missed. Not “is”, as in today, but “will be”, as in no more. For several years I have convinced my husband to buy plane tickets to fly 750 miles to Virginia for a weekend and in one case drive four hours to Fort Myers because, “this could be the last time”. I realized with those words that this probably really was “the last time.” Maybe not the last time for all three to sing together but the last time for Wolf Trap in August.

It meant a lot to me to have my daughter, her fiancée, and the grandchildren there. The two year old will not remember it and the highlight of the evening for the four year old will most likely be the pedestrian tunnel and the ride on the shuttle from the parking lot when we went back to the car to get umbrellas. But I will remember sitting with my grandson on my lap and smelling his damp hair while listening to “Don’t Laugh at Me” and seeing my granddaughter fall asleep in my daughter’s arms. I reminisced with my daughter, pointing out to her fiancée the seats where we sat when I brought her to her first concert at seven. And the two front row seats that we magically got one year.

Usually I sing along with gusto, feeling pride that I know all the words to even the most obscure songs. This time I spent a lot of time just listening, burning the scene and sound into my memory.

In Fort Myers I got a chance to meet them. My husband convinced me to wait for them to exit and get their autographs. I was able to say only one thing to each of them – “you raised me”. I wish I could have said so much more. How from the first song I ever learned by heart – “Freight Train”, to the songs I played on guitar in Girl Scouts, to the songs I still sing in my car today their music has weaved through my life and changed me for the better.

Still Waiting

Well I had hoped to have some more show information for everyone but it looks like this is going to be the year of flexibility. I am now waitlisted for three shows, Maitland, Winter Park Autumn, and Art in the Gardens in Jupiter. Disappointingly I received a rejection from Disney this year. Most likely I will not get into Maitland. I am 15th on the wait list and there are only 150 artists. I have an advantage of being very close and able to do the show at the drop of a hat so there is a chance for a last minute acceptance if someone cancels at the last minute. Winter Park Autumn is more promising. I spoke to them on the phone and while they didn’t tell me my position on the waitlist they said that I will most likely get in. Art in the Gardens is actually the best possible situation. Art in the Gardens is the same weekend as Deland and all things being equal I’d rather do Deland since it is only five miles from my home. Hopefully I won’t have to make a decision on Art in the Gardens until I hear from Deland. But so far I am looking at a very iffy season and I’m scrambling to find backup shows for the empty weekends. I’m very bummed about it all because I have finished the design of my new display and it is great! I have quite a few new photographs and I’ve found a way to display more of them. I can’t wait to test drive it and see if people like it.

I did get into Winter Springs and if everything else falls through that will be my first show of the season. I’m really glad I got into Winter Springs. It was a great show last year and very enjoyable to do. There is still one outstanding the weekend before, in Jacksonville, but I won’t hear from them until the middle of September.

I’ve also had one piece selected for the annual 100% Pure Florida exhibit at the 5th Avenue Gallery in Melbourne. The show runs for the month of September and the opening is on Sept 4th from 5:30 – 8:30.

Waiting

It seems I write this blog every year about this time. Although things are looking up, usually I am complaining about being rejected. Looks like this is going to be the summer of the wait list. First Maitland, now Art in the Gardens. Actually being waitlisted for Art in the Gardens is probably the best possible outcome for now. I applied to Deland with Art in the Gardens as a backup before I realized that if I was invited to Art in the Gardens I would have to accept or decline before I knew whether or not I was invited to Deland. Not a good plan. Now if I don’t get invited to Deland, I can still hope that I might get called off the wait list for Art in the Gardens. I know God’s in charge of all of this but I do wish I had more than one confirmed show for the fall.

At any rate, I have redesigned the booth, printed most everything, and should complete framing next weekend. Then I will go through the matted pieces and separate them into first and second string and go through my supplies to make sure I have enough of everything. I have to be ready for Maitland, just in case they call me.

I’ve got my fingers crossed and prayers said for Winter Park Autumn and Winter Springs that will be deciding soon.

I have learned not to pray to get into a show, but to pray to put my best foot forward. Praying to get into a show and not getting in just leaves me pissed off at God. I do the best footwork I can and it will all work out the way it is supposed to.

Summer at the Beach

A few weeks ago Clif and I went to Vierra Wetlands for the first time. Unfortunately the road through the wetlands was closed because of the heavy rains so we didn’t stay long. Instead we headed over to the beach to try and get some photos there. These are some of the photos from that day. Normally my process is to download all the photos into one file and then go through them and move the ones I like to a second file for a second look a few days later. Then if I still like them they get cataloged and numbered for selling. I liked these so much I skipped the intermediate step. I think at least one of these will be on my booth wall for next season.

Scenes from a Train - 4

My mother grew up on a farm in Spring Mills, Pennsylvania. She never hesitated to tell me about the difficulties of farm life. She told me that the reason that Shoe-Fly pie was eaten with milk on it was because it was the last pie to be eaten in the winter and by then it had become hard as a brick. But I loved Shoe-Fly pie with milk on it and the idea of having room to roam and a horse or two was very appealing to me. I’ve never realized my dream of living on a farm and note, that what appealed to me about living on a farm was not the idea of planting things or manual labor of any kind. My dream farm is more like the horse farms I see in Middleburg, Virginia, rolling hills with beautiful horses, the bastion of the very rich. And thank God for the very rich, because even though I have no hope of ever living there, it is still a wonderful place to drive through.

This is not one of those farms. This is a farm that, through her stories, I envision my mother might have grown up on.

Spiritual Renewal - 2

A few days ago I promised to recommend another website so here it is – www.urbanmonk.net. Warning – You can spend hours reading this site, especially if you have any lurking resentments, character defects, or just plain “issues”. And I don’t think any of us reach adulthood, no matter how great our parenting, without “issues”.

Next - More scenes from a train.